7 Hunting Jokes You Can Share In The Treestand

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We all love a good laugh – Here are a few jokes you can share with your hunting partner while you are both waiting for that big buck to come into view.

 
 

1. The 911 Call

Two hunters are hunting in the woods when one suddenly grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled to the back of his head.

The other hunter whips out his cell phone and calls 911. In a frantic state, he desperately yells to the operator, “I think my friend is dead! What should I do?”

In a calming voice, the operator says, “Take it easy and follow my instructions. First, lets make sure he’s dead.” There is silence. Then, a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line, “Okay. Now what?”

 

2. Bear Hunting Fail

Two hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read “BEAR LEFT”. So they went home.

 

3. Smart Thinking Gone Wrong

There were these two guys out deer hunting when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft. Curious about it’s depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom. They heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing.

They searched the area for something larger and came upon an old railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a pack mule suddenly darted between them and leapt into the mysterious hole. The guys, standing there with astonishment from the actions of the mule, barely noticed when another deer hunter walked up beside them.

“Have you seen my pack mule anywhere in the area?” the stranger asked.

“Yes,” they both answered, “One just ran and jumped into the mine shaft in front of us.”

The man replied, “That couldn’t be my mule. Mine was tied to an old railroad tie with a long rope.”

 

4. An Old Deer Hunter Goes To The Bar

An old deer hunter dressed head to foot in camouflage went into a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.

After she ordered her drink, she turned to the deer hunter and asked, “Are you a real deer hunter?”

He replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life in the woods, tracking deer, stalking deer and shooting deer, so yes, I guess I am a real deer hunter.” After a short while he asked her what she was.

She replied, “I’ve never been in the woods. I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. I get up in the morning thinking of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV everything makes me think about women.”

A short while later she left, the deer hunter ordered another drink.

A couple sat down next to him and asked, “Are you a real deer hunter?”

The deer hunter replied, “Well I always thought I was a deer hunter, but I just found out that I’m a lesbian.”

 

5. A Scandulous Secret

A woman is in bed with her husband’s best friend when the phone rings.

Her phone rings and she answers. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation…

She is speaking in a cheery voice and says, “Hello? Oh, hi. I’m so glad that you called. Really? That’s wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye bye.”

She ends the phone conversations and places it back on the nightstand. Her lover asks, “Who was that?”

“Oh” she replies, “That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having on his deer hunting trip with you.”

 

6. Small Misunderstanding

Two guys were hunting and one accidently shot the other. The one hunter rushed his injured friend to the hospital. The doctor came out of the emergency room and the worried hunter asked him if his buddy was going to live. The doctor paused for a moment, blankly looked at the camo-streaked man’s face and replied, “He probably would have if you hadn’t field dressed him.”

 

7. Missing Mother-In-Law

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight; the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush with a large male lion facing her. The wife cried, “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” said the hunter husband. “The lion got himself into this mess; let him get himself out of it.”

 
 

What’s your favorite hunting joke? Share in the comments below!

5 Things Hunting Widows Should Remember

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Having been a hunting widow myself, I know the frustration that can come with being in a relationship with someone who is addicted to the world of hunting. If you’ve never taken the opportunity to hunt, you may have a hard time accepting the loss of one-on-one time with your loved one. Here are 5 things to remember when your significant other is away during the hunting seasons: Continue reading

We Are Hunters

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It happened before we opened our eyes for the first time, before we took our first breaths or our first steps. As the cells of who we are today started growing, a magical event took place. Parts of our DNA, our genetic code, were being written in time. This code makes us who we are. It contains the raw, dynamic map of each of us. We can’t change this code with our will, we can only choose to ignore it and become someone we are not. Or, we can accept who we are and strive to be the best version of ourselves. Continue reading

Interview with Tammi Gregory Arnold from Dressed to Kill TV

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Mother of two and owner of Dressed to Kill TV, Tammi Gregory Arnold has been in the hunting industry for 25+ years.

In our recent interview with industry professional Tammi Gregory Arnold, we explore details of her early childhood, learn how she personally discovered her passion for hunting and find out why she envisioned an all-female hunting show called Dressed to Kill TV.  She divulges her strategy on selecting her pro-staff and gives words of advice for anyone seeking to make the sport of hunting a lifestyle of their own.

 
 
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Guest Blogger Melissa Bachman – How Hunting & Your Health Go Hand-In-Hand

We are honored to announce that Adirondack Bowhunters will be hosting a very special guest this week – the exceptionally talented female hunter, Melissa Bachman.  Melissa spends nearly 200 days a year in the field, hunting the globe and producing Winchester Deadly Passion, a top-notch, adrenaline-pumping hunting show now in its fourth season. Winchester Deadly Passion can be found on Sunday mornings on The Sportsman Channel at 11:30am ET.  Melissa’s following entry, similar to Adirondack Bowhunters Pro-Staff Christi Stone’s article, The Ultimate Predator, is yet another prime example of her passion for hunting. Melissa shares her views on the importance of health and fitness in relation to the sport of hunting and the great outdoors.

If you are looking to reach your own personal health goals, be sure to head on over to Adirondack Bowhunters – Healthy Hunters and say hello to Christi! She’ll be more than happy to assist you with any of your questions.

 

Heather Ballek
Adirondack Bowhunters
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Getting IN Shape

As bowhunters, we are constantly preparing for upcoming seasons and trying to ensure that our gear is in tip top shape. Gear is important, absolutely. However, many hunters forget the physical preparation that can often times go hand in hand with successful hunts. Sure, there are plenty of hunts that can be done with little to no physical requirements, but many of the western hunts can be significantly improved if you’re in good physical condition.
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5 Ways To Get More From Your Trail Cameras

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When trail cameras first become popular, I found myself placing them wherever I thought I could get the best pictures. I didn’t put a lot of thought into it other than wanting make sure I was placing them in a high traffic area. Every week was like Christmas.  I would pull my camera and rush to the nearest pharmacy to get my roll of film developed so I could see what I had captured. Trail cams have changed since then and so have the ways that I use them. Here are 5 ways I have learned to get more from your trail cameras: Continue reading

5 Awesome Reasons You Should Try Hunting

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For many people, interest in the outdoors begins at a young age.  Their love for the sport of hunting was likely ignited after that first kill, or by the memories they shared bonding with the people they love.  For others, hunting was encouraged by a spouse or other loved ones. But, what is hunting to the individuals whom were never raised with the outdoors? Why should you try this sport if it was never a prominent part of your childhood?  Let’s find out. Continue reading